Hi, I'm back with a new book called Leave the Building Quickly in which I once again cast my gimlet eye (I just wanted to say gimlet) upon the current state of my affairs. And some other people's affairs.

If you buy the book now, you get the whole thing, all of the writing with the cover and all of the chapters in their original order. If you're lucky you might get the typo on the title page that makes it look like the book was published by a company called HarperCollins Publ  ihers.
I don't know anyone else with a book that is published by publ  ihers.

If you don't buy the book now, I can't guarantee any of the above.

So come, won't you, and journey with me as I humiliate myself in a variety of locales—a dude ranch, a hospital, Mystic Seaport, the offices of Comedy Central. Stand with me as I confront my inner (and outer) most fears. No threat is too small—pajamas, schnauzers, Disney cruises. No subject sacrosanct—God, sex, The Nutcracker Suite.

Let's face the music together. You certainly don't want to deal with intelligent design, Narnia, New England's deer population—all the important issues of the day—alone, do you? Besides, I did the hard part.
I wrote the book.

All you have to do is buy it.

Here's another thing. Those publishers I told you about have also reissued the paperback of my first book, Why I'm Like This. The point of that was so they could add some bonus material in the back, which I was asked to provide. For free. Anyway, there's an interview I did with Salt Magazine, a story I wrote that was not true, a list of foods to eat while you read my essays, and an excerpt from my new book. And that's in addition to the book itself! How about that! Even if you already own Why I'm Like This, I would suggest you buy the new version. Besides all the extras, somehow the new edition is funnier. I can't explain it, it just is.